A WANDERING MIND

“Don’t let your mind wander ~ it’s 2 little 2 B left alone.”

 

(Posted on the billboard in front of the Abundant Life Church)

The first time I saw this I cracked up.  The second time I drove by I started laughing before I got to the end ‘cause I knew the punch line.  I was sad when they rotated the bill board as this slogan had made me giggle every time. 

I have been thinking about it lately and it reminds me of an experiment I have been working on.  You see, I have spent an inordinate amount of time in my life daydreaming.  I am the quintessential Queen of Daydreaming.  Especially in my car. I don’t know how many times I have arrived at my destination and I couldn’t tell you a darn thing about the actual trip.  Or those times when I am driving and there are cars all around me ... then I “wake up” and look around ... and the cars are all gone.  Where did they go?  When did they leave?  Do they know something I don’t know?  It is a bizarre feeling.

My issue is I do not always daydream pleasant thoughts.  In fact, my imagination can carry me away, ruin the moment and even bring on anxiety attacks.  I see this as a pretty destructive habit.  I have spent way too much time thinking of the worst case scenario.  Let me give you a few examples. (1) While I am hooking up my horse trailer, I imagine something going wrong with the equipment and losing the trailer down the highway.  (2) I have a meeting set up with a new client and on the drive to their office I imagine that they are going to see me as an imbecile.  (3) I have also spent a lot of time making up excuses in my mind ~ just in case I may miss a deadline.  I have lengthy imaginary conversations with my clients practicing how to tell them.  It goes on and on, ad nauseam.  

I slowly began to realize that these worst case scenarios never evolved they way I imagine them, and my made up conversations are never spoken out loud.   I made a conscious decision that I would not spend another minute making up excuses for my life. 

I am doing the best that I can.  And for the most part, it has worked.  Now, if I catch myself thinking up an excuse for anything I ask myself out loud, “Who are you talking to?”

Since I am the only one in the car or my office, this is a very short conversation. 

As I cannot see a single positive reason to keep up the negative day dreaming, I decided to see what I could do about this (?) addiction.  It is taking precious time away from enjoying life; it is something I believe I can modify.  If I can’t totally quiet my mind then at least I want to spend more time thinking pleasant thoughts.  So I came up with a strict routine.  When I find myself thinking a destructive thought or my heart starts to race with a worse case scenario ~ I immediately stop.  I visually wrap up the thought in a piece of white tissue paper, blow it gently towards the light and offer it up to be transformed into …… a totally positive image.  It may sound crazy, but it is the routine that helps me move out of the moment.

Driving down Boulder Canyon one day, I must have gone through this routine at least a dozen times.  I was flabbergasted but I doggedly practiced my visualization with every single negative scenario. 

Recently I realized that I am not doing this nearly as often.  It’s working.  I may have to play with this the rest of my life, but it only takes a second to run through my routine. I am willing to do this. I am worth it.

So,  “Don’t let your mind wander ~ it’s 2 little 2 B left alone.”    

But if it does, guide it towards a field of wild flowers beside a gently flowing stream and advise it to stay there and enjoy the moment. J

* annette

Postscript.  For what it is worth, I have read several books which helped a lot. Ekhardt Tolle, in his book, The New Earth, does a swell job of guiding those who do indeed want their brain back.  Another one of my favorite books on the subject is, Loving What Is by Byron Katie.