Reciprocity – Just an Idea.

Last Friday night I stood with my class, the Mid Pack, at our graduation ceremony!! Whew!! Almost two years of studying, practicing, and working through our own “stuff” … and we are now certified in the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method !!  The range, depth and potential of this work is awesome.

But I would like to take a moment and acknowledge those who came before me.  Among many other things, the Mid Pack had the outstanding privilege of learning from the Genesis group how to accept new members into this marvelous herd. We learned from their generous example.  It may not have been easy for them to let us in, to transition into a larger herd, but I never once felt that.  Not once. They were outstandingly gracious and accepting of us.

I have been thinking about the rumblings I have heard from new students as we each face our fears and our doubts about this program.  How large is this program going to get? Will there be enough work for me?  I confess that I have had my own doubts, my own dark fears.

I am reminded of a lesson I leaned fifteen years ago in South America. I was studying with a Peruvian shaman and one day he told us a story of his idea of reciprocity. To him and his fellow shamans, if anyone came forward and said they wanted to learn the ancient sacred ways, that teacher had to take them on as a student.  Because it was their understanding that not until each and every human stepped into their highest potential, could any of us ascend to the higher realms.  No one could move forward until every got it!  This idea was new to me and the hugeness of that statement stayed with me ever since. Every time you reach out and help someone up, you are supporting a larger cause.  Plain and simple, we are all in this together.

Then there is the sentiment that my dear friend Patricia offered up one day. She said, “If everyone on the earth was a healer, we would still have tons of work to do!” I don’t even know what she meant, but I know on a cellular level that the words are true.

And so I keep reminding myself of these two little stories. I totally believe that for each one of us to reach our highest potential we need to champion the successes of one another.  By supporting each other with grace and authenticity, we will each find our place.  There are thousands of horses waiting for us to step up to the plate and there are millions of folks who need us when they are ready.

If I had any words of wisdom for those coming into the program it would be this. If you need to compete, as is in my nature, compete with yourself.  Set your goals, keep an open mind, ask questions until you “get it”  and know that you are in a loving herd whose survival depends on your strength of character. We are in this together and it is so outrageously rewarding!!  There is room for all of us. I welcome you to a marvelous adventure.  It will be what you make it to be.

And I know for me this is just the beginning.  I look forward to many more years of studying, practicing, and working through my own “stuff” as I move forward as a practitioner of the Equine Gestalt Coaching Method !! 

Namaste.

The Beginning

I remember standing in front of my kitchen window staring out on the cold January morning. I could see my reflection in the window;  looking out ~ yet looking in.  It was a bright beginning to a new year. My mind was racing with thoughts of the Melisa Pearce’s Touched By A Horse Certification Program.TM   What if this program was the answer to the riddle that had presented itself over and over to me for the past five years. Reading after reading after reading, I had been told that I could work with horses if I wanted to. Wanted To? It is what i wanted to do most in the world! But I could not see what it looked like. I could not visualize it and the women giving me the reading could not answer that for me. They all said, “I don’t know what it means. This is just the information I am receiving.”  

One of my ego’s strongest arguments was the cost. It was pricey and I was having trouble paying my mortgage. That was the most evident problem on this physical plane.  I am not a horse trainer even though my dear sweet horse, Lakota, and I have spent hours and hours in various clinics studying Natural Horsemanship and how to be better partners to one another.  On the other hand, I did truly want to work with people. The last 15 years of running my own appraisal shop has become more and more unsatisfying, financially, mentally, and spiritually. I am ready for a change. But my “Doubting Thomas’ voice is loud in my inner debate. “What if we sign up and spend all this money and then we can’t make a living at it? What if we find out we’re not good enough? What if this is not the answer? What if? What if? What if?”

But a part of me knew. This is an answer. Here is a teacher right in my own back yard. “What if she moved up here from Arizona to be my teacher? What about that…huh?” I asked my Doubting Thomas self. “What if this IS the answer and I’m too scared to go for it?”

The part of me that “knows” smiled at the reflection in the frosty window and whispered, “It will be what you make it to be.  It is up to you, dear one.”  I walked to the phone and left a message with Melisa’s office. That was January 1, 2010.

Today, June 10, 2011, I will graduate with four of my fellow classmates. I would be lying if I said the journey has not been extremely challenging at times. But with help I have walked through my fears; I have acknowledged and moved beyond the nagging doubts ~ and there have been many along the way.  But in every cell of my body I KNOW that this was the answer. I am proud of myself for staying in the program, looking the “what-ifs” square in the face and finding the funds, finding the courage, and finding the stamina to move forward.  With Lakota’s help, and with the horses I sense will be joining us ~ we will make it glorious!!

Once again ~ we are at the beginning!

 

Happy June 1st

I made it!!  Ya hooo!
I wrote a three page essay this morning on how badly May sucked, but I decided I won’t subject you to it. Take my word for it, it was a difficult month. I was presented with daily challenges, most around my computer crashing and now my dear old friend of a Honda is not doing well. In between times I bought the funniet graduation cards only to get home and realize they were birthday cards, the check was “not in the mail”,  I stepped in melted used chewing gum and then stepped into my new car and got it all over the clutch, the brake pedal, the carpet and me and……

I have watched myself fight and resist every new twist in the story. Fear of the unknown.  Forced to spend more money than I am making wasn’t too much fun.  Computer-technology-ignorance is certainly one situation where ignorance is not bliss! I rarely entered into the change gracefully, no, I watched myself resist wildly, either inwardly or outwardly. It took a lot of energy to be me last month. Whew! I am exhausted.

I called a good friend of mine yesterday and told her I was really concerned about how angry I had been this past month. And she said, “Well, I don’t know if I would call it angry, but you were certainly irritable.”  I apologized for those times when I called her and vented and she said, “Don’t worry, I didn’t take it personally. It will probably be me next time and you always listen to me.”  That is a good friend. She didn’t sugar coat my “irritability” but she kept open the door to a rewarding friendship.

I was up at the crack of dawn this morning and the sunrise colors were incredible; fuchsia, deep oranges, hot rose pink, it was a promise of a new day, a new month, a new ......  !

Happy June!

ZEN & New Computer Set-up

I am re-reading Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M Pirzig, while I wait for my new computer to arrive.  I am surprised by the byline, “An Inquiry Into Values.”  I don’t remember that. In fact, I don’t remember much about this book.  It is totally new to me. The paper back I recently purchased for $2.50 at the used book store looks exactly like the one I moved from house to house for the last twenty-five years or so. I am, at this point, not sure that I ever read the book even though I professed many times to having done so. It was first published in 1974, one year after I left Missouri and travelled to Colorado in my personal search for freedom.

This morning I am curled up on the couch with my little purple book as I wait for Bonnie to come and take away the frightful, strange, ‘too new’ yucky feelings I get when I look at my new computer. I read these words in Part II, Chapter 14, which speak to my anxiety – my fear of the unknown.

“Assembly of Japanese bicycle require great peace of mind.” ...

…"Peace of mind isn’t at all superficial, really,” I expound. “It’s the whole thing.  That which produces it is good maintenance; that which disturbs it is poor maintenance. What we call workability of the machine is just an objectification of this peace of mind. The ultimate test’s always your own serenity. If you don’t have this when you start and maintain it while you’re working you’re likely to build your personal problems right into the machine itself.” 

WOW!!!!  There it is.

Before Bonnie gets here I want to adjust/transform my fearfulness of computers into something more productive.

A willingness to allow this computer to be as great as it can be ~ allowing me to keep my real estate business going even as I move into my new career as an equine gestalt coach, writing and producing fliers as I go!!!!!
I intend that my quickening heartbeat is all about excitement for the future, not the dread from long time limiting beliefs of the past.
Together we ARE powerful. 
I sense a different way of being moving in. I make way for it.  

And I hope that when I finally get around to unpacking the boxes in my shed I will find my original copy of this marvelous book.  Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. It is timeless.

Thank you, Bonnie, for your time, patience, and your far reaching knowledge of the computer. 

Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!!!!

PS.  She told me her name is Melanie. Yes, my computer told me this. Could be my imagination, but no matter, I will call her Melanie.

Computer Woes

Well, I am sitting at my local library where I have been checking emails all week.  Last Saturday my hard drive crashed. What a bummer. I still haven't found out if they are going to be able to get all the data off my dear old Jorge (i know, i know ... i do have a propensity for naming what some of you consider inanimate objects). But yes, it is Jorge with a "J". 

Minus a computer I have been out of business as a real estate appraiser ~ no work ~ no pay. Bummer. It is not as much fun having a week off when it is not your choice !?!?!  On the other hand, I have been reading and writing and working on my new business schedule for this summer ~ just in the nick of time.  I even vacuumed  behind my computer desk and straightened all of my computer accessory cables so that it will make installation easier.  The thought of which makes my blood run cold, but, with a little help from some friends we will get 'er done.

I have my fingers and toes crossed that my external hard drive was indeed functional enough for the tech support folks to pull off information and that all of my writings for the past seven years and all of my pictures ... have been saved to my new computer.

It will be a few more days before my new computer gets here and I figure him (or her) out.
I wish you all a great week. 
Annette.

Horse as Healer: Chakras & Empowerment

Chakra balancing.

I have seen Melisa’s horses do this over and over.  They start at the human’s toes and with their nose they go up one side of the body and down the other, slowly, methodically. Sometimes they walk around the human and scan the back side as well. Sometimes they will stand in front of the client and sway back and forth with their nose at the heart chakra. Well they don’t really sway their whole body, they just gently swing their head back and forth usually standing fairly close to the human.

One very large black and white Gypsy Vanner horse, will slowly back up to a person and press her root chakra onto the client. She will move around the person and press her butt on them from different angles. It looks kind of funny but she is trying to ground the person into the “now-ness” of the moment. She is very gentle and walks very slowly with her large magnificent feet.

 When they are finished the horse will back away or move away from the human and they often look over at Melisa as if to say, “I know it only took two minutes, but we’re done here. This one is cleared and balanced to the best of my ability.”

 It could be scary to the human if they didn’t trust both the facilitator and the horse, but that has not been my experience. The human always love it in the end as they walk out of the round pen glowing.

Empowerment.

Once there was timid woman with a very, very sad story that she told very well. I am beginning to realize how boring stories really are when they are polished and embellished due to years and years practicing of the telling. (And I look at myself and how many tedious stories I have bored people with. Write them, get them out of me, and move on for goodness sakes!) Anyway the woman was going on and Melisa said “Okay I get the idea. Lets try an exercise. Are you willing to do that?”

The woman agreed and we brought in a large dark bay gelding, a very handsome creature to be sure. Melisa also sent someone for the mounting block and brought a couple of extra students.  We all knew that the woman had a little bit of horse experience and were not surprised when she agreed to ride this horse bareback. She looked like a tiny fairy up on the horses back and she immediately broke out in this huge grin. We led the horse around the circle with a side walker on either side to make sure that she was safe and had the woman speak of joy.

Melisa coached her with stem sentences like, “I feel joy when …”

And ended up by asking where in her body was she feeling this joy. “It is like my entire core is filled with golden light; my whole rib cage is expanding with joy.” She bent over the horse and wrapped her hands around his neck, still grinning and indeed, it was if a light were radiating from her. We walked in silence for a while and Melisa instructed her to feel all the joy, to let it soak into her body, and to know that she could come back to this memory in an instant, any time she wanted to. This was her touchstone for joy.

The woman walked out of the round pen and she truly did look different to all of us; softer, more relaxed and happier than we had ever known her.

And still, that is just the beginning……

Healing Horses - Energy Clearing

Being in Melisa’s program this past fourteen months has been amazing. The things that I have seen horses do with human clients has been inspiring.  I want to expound on each of these further but I want to take a few moments and float back through the year and pick up some strong points.

Leaching. I took my horse to the October 2010 CORE,  our week-end intensive training sessions and she proved herself to be a true healer.

With one of the clients who had years of pent up anxiety and trauma, Lakota stood beside her and with her nose, slowly scanned the woman’s body, up and down from her toes to the top of her head.  Then Lakota stood there and opened her mouth and did these long deep yawns. In my own body I almost felt like gagging ~ it was almost painful to watch but then she is my best friend and I was feeling very protective of her. Melisa and the woman kept dialoging, she telling her story and Lakota kept yawing. She stopped one time, appeared to be listening to the story and then started yawning again over and over. Her head was down, her teeth exposed and she leaned into each yawn.

When the woman was done talking and Lakota was done yawing, Melisa asked the client how she was feeling now. “Well, I’m not really sure what just happened but I feel pounds lighter and much happier.”

“I am not surprised” Melisa said.

Melisa thanked Lakota and we put her back in her stall and debriefed the session. Melisa told us that the horse was pulling the toxic energy out of the woman’s body and releasing it with her deep yawning. She literally leached the negativity out of the woman. Of course we wanted to know what effect it had on the horse and she explained that the horse acts as a clearing vessel and it goes right through them and is released to the universe to be transmuted by the creator energy that surrounds the healing horse.

Horses do NOT hang onto useless energy,  they release it immediately,

they do not ruminate about what happened yesterday,

and they certainly do not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow.

They are totally in the present moment ~ always!  

WOW.