WHITE CARPET : RED STAIN.

                    

Saturday. I woke up this morning with an image in my mind that won’t go away.  So I thought if I gave it a voice it may have more to teach me. It has to do with my personal journey through domestic violence. It was certainly not a journey that I planned for myself, but once the engine pulled out of the station, picking up speed ~ it was hard to jump off the train.

I have spent the past few months working on a piece of “unfinished business” that bubbled to the surface through a series of seemingly unrelated events. Actually it was brought to my attention by my life coach who listened to me ramble on about the random chaos of my life;  a disappointing experience with my male housemate, patchy communication with my son, and yet .. forever optimistic …. my desire for a new relationship. Yes, I believe I am finally ready.

It was she who finally named the elephant in the room. With her help I have been looking at my relationships with the men in my life ~~ from the very beginning to the present. It has been interesting and sometimes painful; sorting through what is important, what needs to be transformed, and what needs to be let go. 

This morning’s vision was a red stain on white carpet.  It was curious and when I stepped back I saw a scene unfold before me.  I was in a living room ~ and I knew it was my living room although I have never lived in a house with white carpet. Someone had spilled dark red wine. They apologized profusely and even as I quickly found things to mop up the mess I was assuring them that it was alright, that everything would be all right.  But I was lying.  I knew the carpet was ruined and would never be the same again. I had the carpet professionally cleaned and the spot looked like it really had disappeared. But by that evening, after the workmen had left, the carpet began to dry and stain popped out again. And every time the carpet was cleaned the spot faded away a little more, until it was so slight that only I knew it was there. Maybe it isn’t really there anymore! Can you see it?  Maybe I only see it because I remember where it happened.

That is what domestic violence feels like. There were many stains …. but it was such a long, long time ago.  I cleaned and cleaned that damn carpet. I even sat a coffee table over the top and could walk right by without even thinking about it.  I thought the stain had finally disappeared … but here it is again. This is what unfinished business looks like.  

Of course there are elements of forgiveness ~ for myself and others.

But what about wiping the slate clean and forgetting all about it. Is that the answer? Is it even realistic? Does time heal all wounds? For me, the answer is “Yes, but” … which quietly dissolves into “No, not really.” 

And so here is where I am today. I realize that stain happened a long time ago to a young girl who had few skills and very little protection. But today I am a very different person. My forgiveness, offered many years ago, is still sincere. What to do next? I booked an energy session with a friend to clear and remove blocked and harmful energy patterns that no longer serve me. I have studied hard, learned many things, yet often stopped to smell the roses. I know honest lovely men, most of them married to dear friends of mine, but I enjoy their company and know there are more men out there like them. Today I walk with my head up, laugh easily, and am surrounded by friends I can trust to be there for me.

I believe the white carpet is my own young innocence. The "red" stain is the anger I felt deeply and never fully acknowledged. Stains happen, so do miracles.  Talking with a qualified coach and receiving energy work allowed me to move through the process with much more understanding; deeper and quicker and with more direction. 

And I know now that I can choose to pull the cord, stop the train and step off, thusly … moving forward with grace.                                    Blessed be.                                            

IRELAND, a Link to Possibility

I am looking at the girl I was "before" I left for Ireland, the girl who made the trip and the one who returned.  And I want/need/desire there to be a difference.  Please note, I am using the term "girl" very loosely here, but it is early morning and that is how I am feeling. You might understand this better, as time goes on.  {*.*}

In Ireland, the Land seemed to continually whisper to me, "Let it go."  I heard it as I leaned my head into the trunk of an ancient tree or laid my heart upon the earth. I heard it from the moss and the tiny green "villages" I marveled at on the rock walls.  My body pressed the point by becoming constipated and all I wanted to do was "let 'er rip, and let it go".  But even with herbs and massage I was having trouble ... physically letting it go. In ceremony, a shaman stepped in front of me, looked me straight in the eye and said, "Move beyond your fear. Do what you want to do. Be who you want to be."  She smiled at me and in that moment I felt like everything was possible.  Re-member. That is who I want to be now, the woman/child to whom all things are possible.  So be it.

One of the things I let go of on the Isle of Inisfallen, is my proclivity to perfection.  Kind of trips off the tongue, doesn't it?  Proclivity to Perfection.  Ta Da!!!   Well it is not only a pain in the arse, it can be an excuse for not getting things done.  I am thinking of a lovely little blog I wanted to write earlier this year and I saw it accompanied by the perfect picture of my horse. I could easily visualize the whole piece. But the weather outside did not match the message of my blog, so I waited and waited for the perfect conditions.  Then, one morning the weather cooperated and I went out and took a dozen pictures of my adorable horse, frosted from head to tail with shimmery ice crystals. My photos were not as artistic as I had envisioned but they would do. Coming back to my computer I searched for the essay and realized I had never committed the words to paper - waiting for the perfect moment I had never actually written the blog piece - so now I had “okay” pictures and no essay.  I had nothing but a good intention and a lot of dissatisfaction with myself.

If only it ended there ~ but unfortunately this sad story continues. A few weeks later, I did actually "find the time" to write the piece, but it was a sunny warm day and something inside me said that I could not really post a blog about frosty horses on such a beautiful sunny Spring day.  Preposterous!!  Everyone would know it was sunny in Colorado and that this blog piece was not spontaneous.

So now I am beginning to see the flaws in Miss Perfection.  She really only cares about what everyone else will think of her. Anything less than perfection is unacceptable to her ~~ because of what others may think.  But when I let Miss Perfection "drive my bus" … I become constipated … my physical/emotional and spiritual bowels twist up, all forward motion grinds to a halt, and nothing productive is accomplished. 

My need for perfection at all costs, especially as it relates to being judged by others, is a limiting belief that no longer serves me. This part of my personality may have served me at one time but is now coming from a place of fear. That is what I let go of in Ireland. In my search for inner peace, I released fear based limiting beliefs.

As a gestalt coach, I know that I cannot toss Miss Perfection under the bus. Even when I want to, and I do, that is not the answer.  She deserves acknowledgement and acceptance. But I will ask her to sit in the back seat and enjoy the ride, offering up her valid ideas only to help put the polish on a piece; to bring up the luster by loving it into a more complete piece of work we can both live with.

And so now my dear little blog, get ready. I might post about rain during a drought, or feeling good when I don't, or any number of random ideas. And if I think of a fantabulous addition after the fact, I give myself permission to post that as well .... in a non-sequitur manner that would not have been possible BI = Before my magical trip to Ireland.

AI = After Ireland.                                                                                                                                       I claim my Freedom !!
Loving Living Wild in Colorado,
In-Joy !!

SKILLS !!

My world is totally f***ing bi-polar right now.                                                                                       I am hanging on to the bell at the bottom of my pendulum, swinging wildly from one extreme to another, back and forth, back and forth, never still, never totally comfortable.

Sometimes I can throw my head back and enjoy the air rushing through, messing up my hair, and laugh at the absurdity of it all,

Other times I cling tightly to the cold metal, eye lids pinched tightly, hanging on for dear (?) life.

The trick, I am reminded, is to seek inner balance. To "not be jolted by such impermanence."

 

 

I have tricks. Skills ??

"Step outdoors,”  I remind myself,

“seek the ragged edges of my mountain landscape, 

breathe deeply the sweet essence of a horse.”

Her sweet bulk soothes my nerves.  

Her steady heartbeat quiets mine.     

The kindness in her eye restores my faith.

 

Ragged might be beautiful.

 

A THOUSAND YEAR FLOOD.

It has now been 50 days since the rains began that changed the front range landscape of Boulder, Larimer, Jefferson and Weld counties of Colorado.  We survived the “flood of Biblical proportions.”  I have written about it many times, but produced nothing worthy of sharing but serving as a cathartic stress release.  For weeks I suffered from a low level anxiety; trouble sleeping, shortness of breath, and my stomach didn’t feel right.  In fact, I feel like I ate my way through the flood, snacking all day long as I huddled close to my radio listening to what was happening to my physical realm.

At one point I talked with my sister and she could totally relate to how I was feeling. Three years ago she was caught at home ~ alone with one dog, two cats, two horses, and a dozen chickens ~ during an ice storm that left her without electricity for 10 days.  She moved into survival mode, doing what she had to do to take care of everyone, securing water was difficult. She ended up getting sick from attempting to heat a portion of her home with a propane space heater. But everyone on her ten acres lived. The story had a satisfactory ending. For the rest of the winter she, and many of her friends in southern Missouri, had a panic attack every time a storm set up which could bring a layer of ice to their world.

We survive. Katrina, Sandy, massive tornadoes, rampaging forest fires, shifting, sliding, unable to stay the same ...

Slowly it passes.

Below is an excerpt from my friend, my astrologer, and my writing buddy, Jyoti Wind’s astrological newsletter. Her words moved me; she said it better than all of my ramblings and I asked her permission to share it with you here. 

Dear friends, The human and emotional toll of a natural disaster is deep and encompassing.It scars the landscape of one’s thinking so that one returns again and again to that abrasion.  A collective atmosphere of shock and stress grows into a thought form, an energetic, that permeates the area more than the mud and water, and takes a while to recede.  Relief aid, a listening ear, an offer to help are the balm that wipes clear the window onto the future. Possibilities then become visible.

We are in the process of shifting. It doesn’t have a clear demarcation line of when it started, but in the last one and a half years it has felt like there was an escalation. We have another one and a half years to go. And again, there won’t be a stopping line, and end. It may begin to feel that there is more of a flow instead of a push.

Meanwhile the push to change old patterns continues.  Looking at how you have changed over the past one and a half years might be an interesting undertaking. Blessings,Jyoti

For more information and to contact Jyoti Wind:
http://www.writes-of-passage.blogspot.com
http://www.aweeksworthofwomen.blogspot.com
www.jyotiwindastrology.com

You can stop Dancing NOW ~ the Rains have Come !!

I attempt to sit here at my computer and work, but I, like many residences of front range counties in Colorado, am in a state of heightened alert. This morning I fed all of my critters, trying to find a decent place to drop hay as my north pasture has turned into two lakes, Lake Louise and Lake Annette.

Still in my muck boots and raingear, I decided to gas up my pick-up truck. After making an emergency run to Black Forest one evening to pick a hopeful nurse mare for an orphaned foal,  my truck was still on empty. Not much use if I were to need it quickly. Plugging in the electric to my horse trailer I notice that I don’t have head lights on the truck.  Humm, when did that happen?  Is it because of the rain?

Back at home I walked the perimeter of my little house and check my roof drains.  We have had approximately 5 to 6 inches of rain in the last two days and I need this water to move as far away from my foundation as possible. They are calling for four to six more inches of rain in the next two days.  Everything is looking good. When I came inside and pulled off my boots  I popped down to the basement to make sure it was still dry (it is) and to hit the “Rain Delay” button for my lawn sprinkler system.  Certainly not going to need that for a while.

I sat in silence for a minute and said a prayer for all of us. I imagined sunny days and how wonderful the next cutting of grass hay was going to be. I “see” my barn full of sweet smelling hay = green gold.

I am supposed to have lunch in Boulder with my old study group and our teacher who is in town from Namaste Retreat Center in Wisconsin. At this point in the early morning, I doubt if that is going to happen but I decide to take a quick shower and be ready for whatever happens next.  My radio beeps again … the National Weather Service alert is saying to stay away from Boulder ~ schools and businesses are closed, roads are flooding, at least one bridge has washed away, and they are evacuating residential areas around Boulder Creek. Well, at least my hair looks nice!!

I just came in from feeding a lunch snack. I pulled out a couple of flakes of good grass hay and careful put it in metal tubs that I had dumped the rain water out of.  It is disheartening to watch my horses reach in and flick it out with their noses where it will land on the mud and poo muck ~ they will probably not eat it now.  Really? I work hard to secure good feed for you guys and this is how you treat it? They look at me innocently and I wish that I could bring them all into my house and we could read books, sip tea and eat crackers and cheese.

They say, “Don’t worry about it, we are fine. It is all gonna be okay. “

I let their confidence seep into my bones and I know they are right.

Expressions – Part 9

HOW CAN THIS BE?
IS THIS FOR REAL ????
ARE YOU NUTS ?????

How do we ever know healing works? 
You take a couple of aspirin for a really bad head ache. Time goes by and you suddenly realize that your head ache is gone and you feel better.  That is good medicine.

You walk into a round pen with a thousand pound animal. They gaze into your eyes, they do a body scan from top to bottom and place their forehead on your chest and breathe deeply, or offer to walk with you as you explore a new way of being, and when you walk out of the arena you feel better. That is good medicine. End of story; happy ending to the story actually!

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, “Empiricism is a theory of knowledge that asserts that knowledge comes only or primarily from sensory experience.”  Empirical knowledge,  that which is gained from my own experience or those of my peers, has always meant more to me than any scientific paper or book leaning.  I suppose it is true, I only appreciate science when it finally realizes and acknowledges something that I “knew” was true all along. < I honor science but it is not my #1 guide to explaining my life exeperiences. >

I have not spent hours perusing the internet looking for factual data to back up my belief that horses have the ability to heal humans. But I know that I am not alone in this belief.  At this point in time Wikipedia does not have an offering for this topic.  However, if you search the internet for “healing with horses” you can find many, many websites and advertisements, so we humans know that it is happening. Science is not interested in us yet, but when it is, we will have the experiences and the stories to offer.

What is vitally important to me is I finally found a way that I can bring this knowledge to my fellow humans, walking beside my horse. Through equine gestalt coaching, I can partner with horses to holistically heal the many ills of the body/mind/spirit that we two-legged’s suffer with/from. My dear friend Patricia once said, “If every person on the earth was a healer, we would still have lots to do.” I am not totally sure what she meant, but I “know” it is true.

When I watch a horse stretch its neck forward in an extended yawn, I say “thank you.”  For there is a very good chance they have just extended their healing hoof to me and removed negative energy.  And I am appreciative.

 

Here is a picture of my two little donkeys who very much wanted to be a part of this report.                      
Just looking at them may make you feel better.          
We hope so!

 

 

 

 

 

Expressions – Part 8

TESTIMONIAL.

On a warm summer's day I lost a dear friend named Ann.  In April, Ann had come out to my house for a wild foods class that I was teaching.  Unbeknownst to me, Ann was suffering from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, which eventually would claim her life.

Everyone had a great time with the plants, and our field trip, and we also spent some time with my healing herd of horses and donkeys.  My horse, Lakota, tuned in on Ann and spent many minutes licking her hand.  I had no idea what was going on, and could only hope that Ann was comfortable with Lakota’s attention.  I had to trust the process.  When Ann came out she had tears in her eyes and told me that she had received a wonderful healing from my horse and she was so thankful.  She wrote me a thank you note that brought tears to my eyes when I received it and I asked her if I could post it to my website. She agreed and it is there still.

There are no pictures of Lakota licking Ann’s hand. Everyone in class that day could tell you about it, but there are no pictures.  I had no idea of the significance of what I was witnessing.  The picture below was staged with the help of another dear friend of mine, Deb.

“What a wonderful day being with you and the circle of women!
Thank you so much for sharing Lakota with me. I will never forget her breathing and gentleness.                              I do believe she licked my hands to help heal them!! She knew I needed some help there.                                         I am so glad she let me hug her and pet her.
The sharing circle at the beginning was powerful. You are such a sensitive, loving, enthusiastic teacher. I always love field trips so visiting the variety of plants and picking and tasting them was pure fun.
Thank you for offering this special class. Any time I can learn more about wild plants and animals, I feel blessed. May you find sweet success, you deserve it.”
AT, Erie, CO

I’m Back !!!

WOW ~ is time flying by for you as well?

I intended to offer my paper, Expressions of Horses as Healers, one piece at a time; breaking it down into small segments.  I scheduled Parts 1 through 6, and my goal was to present the entire paper without interruption.

And then life happened.
 
And life has been "interesting."  I use that word a lot these days in place of difficult, overwhelming, hard or scary.  "Interesting" carries a different energy ~ and that appears to be the main lesson. As my friend BB said recently, "The energies of these times are proving to be intense, chaotic and uprooting as we move more fully into the Age of Aquarius."  I am learning how to handle the not so subtle energy fluctuations that are being beamed to earth at this time.  My teachers said they were coming and science now says that it is happening.  Some days are better than others.
 
So, now I wish to finish the series offering Parts 7 - 10 in, hopefully, short easy-to-read segments. This will allow me to move on, free of my self-imposed decision to offer the whole paper in its entirety before scurrying off in new and exciting directions.

I hope you find it interesting! 

Check out my new adventure and website,
www.healinghorseregistryinternational.com

Expressions - Part 6

CROWN CHAKRA.             As a kid I was taught to reprimand my horse if they passed their head over mine ~ it was considered a dominant gesture and must be discouraged. And if you think about it for a just a second it is easy to understand that our puny heads setting on top a spindly spinal column is no match for their massive boney head structure and muscular neck. Without intending to, a horse can do a lot of damage to a human head. I have heard stories from my friends that back this up.

But now I have witnessed the same scenario and I believe different things may be going on.

I watched my horse go to work on a middle aged man who was visiting here from out of state.            I was hosting a “meet-and-greet” at my farm and had thirteen participants there for the afternoon.  We were doing a group experience in silence where I allow the horses to roam, at liberty, and meet all of the participants. The fellow was seated in the round pen and she stood in front of him. Ignoring all the other participants, Lakota devoted herself to this gentleman. He had shared earlier that he had very little horse experience. I could see her face but the man’s back was to me. I watched her nuzzle his right shoulder and then skim the top of his head with her jaw as she moved to the left shoulder. I winced and prayed that she didn’t knock his head off ~ but nothing could be further from the truth. At times she lowered her forehead to his chest and held it there.  It sometimes appeared they were gazing into one another’s eyes, but I was not at a vantage point to be sure about this. I could not see his face and wondered briefly if I should intervene - but was guided to stand my ground. 

The man left the arena with tears in his eyes. In the group debriefing he said only that he was a recovering alcoholic and had been sober now for many years, but there was a lot of pain behind his eyes. I wanted so badly to know more and offer our help to this kindly looking fellow. He did come up to me when we had finished our demonstration and said simply, “She is an amazing horse. I had such an incredible experience” and then walked away. I cannot tell you what happened, but for that man, it was profound.

I have come to believe that Lakota specializes in the top four chakras.

I am not a scientist but I am a seeker of truth and an observer of the world around me. Lakota often “works”  by gently moving around my clients heads.  Yes, it makes me nervous but who am I to say what is more correct for an individual. She is far superior at reading their energy patterns.  She has always been my connection to a higher spiritual experience; I believe it is her calling.  She leaches negative energy from our bodies and then strengthens and opens our hearts, our throats, our brow chakra, and our spiritual connection to God, Allah, Mohammed, the Great Mystery ….. whatever ….  all that is.

 

                                                  Her eye is peaceful.     Her ear is sensitive.

                                           Her neck is strong.   Her jaw is awesome ….. and huge!!

                                            We are puny in comparison. Be gentle with us, dear one.

 

 

Expressions - Part 5

2. CHAKRA BALANCING.

Many Eastern healing modalities work with the energy centers of the physical body.  A widely known view is the Chakra system, which was known in both Chinese and Indian philosophies. Chakras are the energy centers of the physical body. The primary seven are located on the mid-line of the body and align, in an ascending column, from the base of the spine to the top of the head. They can be visualized as a double spinning spiral that opens both to the front of the body and along the backbone. In perfect health, these energy centers give and receive energy and are balanced one to another as well as front to back.

Acupuncture, Healing Touch and Reiki are only three examples of healing modalities that have become more mainstream, even in our Western healing practices, as we begin to have more understanding of the holistic approach of body/mind spirit. As a Reiki Master myself, I realize that most practitioners have an understanding of the chakra system and incorporate chakra balancing as part of their healing routine.

Melisa had a large black and white Gypsy Vanner horse named Fancy that joined her healing herd. She had feet the size of dinner plates but I have watched her time after time, gently walk around a client and balance their chakra’s front and back, and never once stepped on a human foot. She was Melissa’s “go to” chakra balancer. She often gently backed up till she was touching the person with her enormous rump, to balance their root chakra.

Yes, they can balance ours even as we balance theirs. I have watched many horses do a quick body scan from toe to head before they go to work, walking around “their client”, standing for a few minutes with their forehead at a person’s abdomen, 3rd chakra = solar plexus, and then move to the persons back and present their heart chakra to the back of that person.

Expressions - Part 4

Another clear visual of what leaching looks like.

This woman has had very little experience with horses and found Lakota “quite large and pretty scary”. She wanted to be with the horse but her every movement was tentative. She is wearing a nervous grin. She got to the point where she was more comfortable with Lakota reaching out, stretching really, to touch her on the collarbone and shoulder.
The woman professed to carrying a lot of tension in her neck and shoulders. She was also very much “in her head” even as I attempted to bring her more into her body.

I asked the woman to walk around the pen and I attempted to get her more into her body. She was a very good story teller however, and more comfortable with her words than with her body.

Lakota was not impressed with her story.  She moved to the side and began to leach energy.
Almost immediately, the woman’s stride lengthened, her pelvis gained more fluidity, and her shoulders dropped to a more natural position.
My assistant and I made eye contact as we watched the woman’s physical demeanor change even as she walked/talked on. 
She had no idea of the changes taking place until we brought it to her attention.
She was finally silent, with wonder and awe.  She "felt" her body.

Expressions - Part 3

1. LEACHING.

Horses healing humans is something that makes sense to me.  But I watched with growing unease as my sweet horse stood in the round pen with a woman who was working through her problems. Lakota stood beside her, neck stretched out, her head hanging low.  It started as a yawn but it went on and on and on. She looked to me as if she were trying to throw up which I knew was impossible for a horse. Was she choking on arena dust?  Her eyes would close and she would pull her lips back to expose her teeth and gums.  Her torso heaved.  I was worried for her. I wanted it to be over. I looked at Melisa and she did not seem at all upset with what was happening. It was all I could do to sit there and trust the process. What the heck was going on?  As the session with the women came to an end Melisa asked her how she was feeling. With a happy grin on her face she replied, “I feel incredible, like I just lost a hundred pounds.”

“I am not surprised,” Melisa said. “This dear horse has been leaching negative energy off you for the past ten minutes.  You are definitely lighter!”

Hands shot in the air. All of us wanted to know what we had just experienced. Melisa explained to us that horses have the ability to leach, or remove, negative energy from the human body. The horse DOES NOT hold on to that energy in their body, however.  They allow it to pass through them. My previous training has shown me how energy can travel down our energy meridians into the earth. Mother Earth is not concerned whether we think energy is “positive” or “negative”. Energy is energy, and she can use it to do all of the marvelous things that she does. But the important thing for me was, Lakota did not hold onto any  “bad stuff”  that she released from the woman, who was now beaming, having thoroughly enjoyed her session with my miracle healing horse.

Well, by Sunday afternoon, Lakota had graduated from Equine Gestalt Coaching Method  while I had many more months to go . GEEZ !  My horse is a rock star of healing!!!!

Since August 2009, I have watched horses work on and heal humans. They are natural holistic healers. As “prey” animals, they have survived through the centuries by creating a unique form of communication, known as Equus. Learning to read and interpret the “energy” of each other, of their habitat, and the other creatures that coexist in their natural surroundings was vital to their survival.  What I am learning is they have the ability to “read” my energy even as I approach the corral.  By the time I open and walk through the gate, my horse knows what my energy level is and what baggage, if any, I carrying with me.

This is what leaching looks like.

EXPRESSSIONS OF HORSES AS HEALERS

 

 

 EXPRESSSIONS  OF  HORSES  AS  HEALERS
 

By Annette Price  /  September 17, 2012                                                          
http://www.onthewingsofahorse.com 

 

 

Prepared as a Course Project in Horse Psychology

Reach Out to Horses’ Holistic Horsemanship                                            

Comprehensive Training Course                                                                                 

with Anna Twinney 

at Zuma’s Rescue Ranch, Littleton, CO

How to be a Better Human 101 ... cont... again ....

In the past I have jokingly described my spiritual journey as “How to be a Better Human 101”, placing myself in the freshman class with wide-eyed enthusiasm and an unchecked willingness to experience it all. My goal with every semester is to discern the teachings and assimilate universal wisdom.

For the past two years I have decided to up the ante; sometimes advancing with baby steps, sometimes falling on my bum, but encouraged by the brilliant rays of understanding that sometimes break through the clouds.  My teachers are the horses and those two-legged beings that speak through them, to them and with them.  Completing Melisa Pearce’s program, EGCM, Equine Gestalt Coaching Method was a dream come true; it has been nothing short of amazing.  

My self-study curriculum remains challenging, as on-going lessons should, with several mid-course corrections required, and I ride the roller coaster of accomplishment, failure, self-doubt and joy with utter amazement.  This past week-end’s training with Anna Twinney (Reach Out to Horses) was HUGE.  Surrounded once again by humans and horses I stepped into the arena. 

"I want to open you up.” Anna’s words are still ringing in my ears.  I have a very uncomfortable vision of an old fashioned manual can opener lying beside a tin of sardines, split open via a ragged wound, sharp and possibly dangerous. Worth diving into if you happen to like sardines, but proceed with caution, it is to be handled with care.

This Monday morning I take stock.

Physically, I am beat up, things hurt when I move, a temporary un-comfort-able-ness.

Spiritually, I am standing at yet another precipice, wondering how to get across.

Mentally, I know that we have stood in front of different obstacles before and have eventually figured them out. I take comfort in the absolute knowledge that I have tremendous teachers, marvelous mentors and friendly faces to guide me, stand beside me, and encourage me.

The horses stand out in their pasture, absolutely aware while appearing to dream contentedly in their own little world. But as every thing in the universe is connected, we too are connected. They accept their day, knowing that this journey is my own, but still mindful of my progress.

It will be what it will be. I am not sure where we are going but excited for the journey to unfold.

A WINTER’S TALE.

Long, long ago there sat a village kingdom high in the mountains, nearer so it seemed to the gods, and which certainly had a feeling of being  “heaven on earth.”  Or so it felt to the local residents, who sometimes whispered that their tiny village was indeed, “the spiritual center of the universe”.  And it became known as truth that some residents were indeed higher than others, for the land flowed with mead and many various flavors of the nectar of the gods, as well as a pipe filled with local and imported greenery, which was also revered highly by most of the grateful inhabitants. As the deep snows of winter set in, the residents gathered in their halls of worship, huddled together for warmth and companionship, and partook heartily of their sacred substance of choice.

In this village lived two fair maidens who brought joy to those around them.  They, being short of monetary treasures, were long indeed on wit, creativity, flair and beauty.  It came to pass that one of the fair maidens had received a large quantity of the imported greenery in exchange for a favor that she had rendered to another. She had indeed hoped to be paid in tokens that could be exchanged easily for her honey mead of choice, and was quite sorrowful for a time as she sat with her friend and separated seeds from stems of the low quality barter. What to do? But slowly an idea began to take shape and the maidens eagerly embraced it and discussed in great lengths how they could turn this vision, which now resided only in their in enthusiasm, into a reality. It would take every penny they had between them, but vowed to one another to accept this challenge and swore one another to secrecy, until such time as it came to pass.

They separated and began their quest to secure many different ingredients, requiring mountains of  flour and butter, a whole basket of eggs  and large measures of nuts and candied fruits. And the day arrived when they secured themselves behind locked doors, surrounded by their varied acquisitions and set to task. They laughed and sang loudly as they rolled up their sleeves, pulled out their largest cauldrons and plunged their bare arms into the forming dough ~ it was a glorious sight to behold.  At the end of the day, they wiped the sweat from their brows and sat back and marveled at their creations.  

There sat seven loaves, beautifully baked to perfection, weighing thrice over what they appeared. They were in uncharted territory now and had no elder to guide them on the next step of their journey. They appraised the recently laundered cotton sheet and measured again the seven loaves. Sacrificing the sheet to this creation was another measure of their unfailing commitment to their quest, for sheets of such good structure were a prized possession of the young maidens.  Reverently they dipped the torn cotton into a bowl filled with the best brandy they could acquire and wrapped tightly the loaves ~ imbuing each with love and good tidings.  

For seven nights, the two maidens would gather and bring out the loaves from their hiding place. For indeed, word of the wondrous creations had seeped into the villagers imagination, and were whispered about in the halls of worship.  Night after night the giddy maidens stole away from the communion hall, filled the bowl with brandy, re-soaked the sheet fragments and re-wrapped the heavy loaves. It was a labor of love and the maidens became quite attached to the seven swaddlings.  Alas, one night, upon retrieving the loaves from their sacred hiding place, they found one missing and they mourned the loss.

The time came to pass to share their handiwork with their friends and family. Many who had long scoffed at the idea of fruit cake, stood in line to receive their portion of the maidens delicacy for it was known to all that these loaves alone contained the sacred greenery. And every villager knows that even that greenery which does not produce the desired affect when smoked in the pipe, becomes a powerful intoxicant when baked or cooked. And the mind blowing effect of the magic fruit cakes were soon known to all with the curiosity to take them in.

And many a glass was raised that holiday to toast the ingenuity of the two maidens. And many were the invitations they received to share in the holiday festivities of their beloved neighbors.  It was a winter to be remembered, but never repeated.

And so ends this tiny tale with these words of advice.       Pure Love and Joy are free dear friends.     Imagination is your goddess given right ~ partake and be of good cheer.

Merry Christmas and green blessing to you all, each and every one, and to your friends and family, and their friends and family, and so on.

<< And, oh yea who so stealthily stole the seventh loaf, you are forgiven, but the maidens would love to hear your side of this winter’s tale. >>

Morning Miracles 11-11-11

I don’t normally consider waking up at 4:46am to be a miracle, but this morning it was moonbeams falling across my comforter that softened the blow.  I was instantly aware of pain in my head; it felt as if I had a tightening band of steel wrapped right about by eyebrows. I get this when my neck is out of alignment or I haven’t swallowed enough water the day before. I did some neck crunches, relaxing on the out breath to see if that would help ~ maybe a little.

I sat up and pushed aside books and magazines and rearranged my pillow so that I was laying sideways across me bed. The moon light caressed my face.  She was gorgeous, huge and round and I felt a funny kind of warmth in her glowing-ness. I played with the moonbeams, gazing through my eyelashes, or squinting my eyes to make shafts of light shoot off from her roundness in all directions. Silently we played together; I, warm under my downy quilts and she, Morning Queen of the Heavens.

Ka-da-thump.  I heard my cat, Magic, jump off her perch in the living room and then she plopped up on my bed. Pulling my right hand out I scratched her ears and then she showed me where she really needed it. She walked around and over me, seemingly curious about my strange position in bed.  She sat by head without blocking my vision of the moon. Gently she reached forward. I recoiled, rather violently, from her cold wet nose where she touched me right between, and a little above, my eyebrows. Nonplussed, she did it again and this time I was ready and the effect was soft and fuzzy.

I was instantly aware that the band around my forehead was gone, the pressure was released. It was if she had found the release button and set me free! One cold wet nose like a magician’s wand. I thanked her profusely, she jumped off the bed with another ka-da-thump, and trotted off.

Well, I don’t really know what this day, 11-11-11, will bring  ~  a new era?  a new paradigm?  or same old blessings (!) but it was a marvelous start to this Friday!
One thing is for sure, a person can never have "too much" Magic in their lives! I will be looking for more on this portentous day.

Horse as Healer: Chakras & Empowerment

Chakra balancing.

I have seen Melisa’s horses do this over and over.  They start at the human’s toes and with their nose they go up one side of the body and down the other, slowly, methodically. Sometimes they walk around the human and scan the back side as well. Sometimes they will stand in front of the client and sway back and forth with their nose at the heart chakra. Well they don’t really sway their whole body, they just gently swing their head back and forth usually standing fairly close to the human.

One very large black and white Gypsy Vanner horse, will slowly back up to a person and press her root chakra onto the client. She will move around the person and press her butt on them from different angles. It looks kind of funny but she is trying to ground the person into the “now-ness” of the moment. She is very gentle and walks very slowly with her large magnificent feet.

 When they are finished the horse will back away or move away from the human and they often look over at Melisa as if to say, “I know it only took two minutes, but we’re done here. This one is cleared and balanced to the best of my ability.”

 It could be scary to the human if they didn’t trust both the facilitator and the horse, but that has not been my experience. The human always love it in the end as they walk out of the round pen glowing.

Empowerment.

Once there was timid woman with a very, very sad story that she told very well. I am beginning to realize how boring stories really are when they are polished and embellished due to years and years practicing of the telling. (And I look at myself and how many tedious stories I have bored people with. Write them, get them out of me, and move on for goodness sakes!) Anyway the woman was going on and Melisa said “Okay I get the idea. Lets try an exercise. Are you willing to do that?”

The woman agreed and we brought in a large dark bay gelding, a very handsome creature to be sure. Melisa also sent someone for the mounting block and brought a couple of extra students.  We all knew that the woman had a little bit of horse experience and were not surprised when she agreed to ride this horse bareback. She looked like a tiny fairy up on the horses back and she immediately broke out in this huge grin. We led the horse around the circle with a side walker on either side to make sure that she was safe and had the woman speak of joy.

Melisa coached her with stem sentences like, “I feel joy when …”

And ended up by asking where in her body was she feeling this joy. “It is like my entire core is filled with golden light; my whole rib cage is expanding with joy.” She bent over the horse and wrapped her hands around his neck, still grinning and indeed, it was if a light were radiating from her. We walked in silence for a while and Melisa instructed her to feel all the joy, to let it soak into her body, and to know that she could come back to this memory in an instant, any time she wanted to. This was her touchstone for joy.

The woman walked out of the round pen and she truly did look different to all of us; softer, more relaxed and happier than we had ever known her.

And still, that is just the beginning……

Healing Horses - Energy Clearing

Being in Melisa’s program this past fourteen months has been amazing. The things that I have seen horses do with human clients has been inspiring.  I want to expound on each of these further but I want to take a few moments and float back through the year and pick up some strong points.

Leaching. I took my horse to the October 2010 CORE,  our week-end intensive training sessions and she proved herself to be a true healer.

With one of the clients who had years of pent up anxiety and trauma, Lakota stood beside her and with her nose, slowly scanned the woman’s body, up and down from her toes to the top of her head.  Then Lakota stood there and opened her mouth and did these long deep yawns. In my own body I almost felt like gagging ~ it was almost painful to watch but then she is my best friend and I was feeling very protective of her. Melisa and the woman kept dialoging, she telling her story and Lakota kept yawing. She stopped one time, appeared to be listening to the story and then started yawning again over and over. Her head was down, her teeth exposed and she leaned into each yawn.

When the woman was done talking and Lakota was done yawing, Melisa asked the client how she was feeling now. “Well, I’m not really sure what just happened but I feel pounds lighter and much happier.”

“I am not surprised” Melisa said.

Melisa thanked Lakota and we put her back in her stall and debriefed the session. Melisa told us that the horse was pulling the toxic energy out of the woman’s body and releasing it with her deep yawning. She literally leached the negativity out of the woman. Of course we wanted to know what effect it had on the horse and she explained that the horse acts as a clearing vessel and it goes right through them and is released to the universe to be transmuted by the creator energy that surrounds the healing horse.

Horses do NOT hang onto useless energy,  they release it immediately,

they do not ruminate about what happened yesterday,

and they certainly do not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow.

They are totally in the present moment ~ always!  

WOW.

Dandelion Festival

A few years after I graduated from herb school (1995), Dorje Root, a fellow herbalist, approached me with a wondrous idea. She suffered from “Environmental Dis-ease” and wanted to let her neighbors know that there were other things to do with dandelions than spraying them with toxic chemicals. She needed help and I was totally intrigued. Thus was born, the city of Boulder’s first Dandelion Festival. We planned a one day event filled with fun activities and classes on various subjects: cooking with weeds, the fascinating art of brewing dandelion wine, medicine making ~ which included teas, tinctures and lip balms ~ as well as the medicinal properties of our dearly beloved yellow friend.

It was a lot of work, to put it mildly, and the first spring we pulled it off in Dorje’s back yard. Her children made signs and posted them, and her oldest daughter collected a meager admission fee at the back yard gate. The children loved making lip balm and folks really enjoyed the cooking class. We presented a salad of wild weeds including purple mustard, mallow, wild spinach, as well as the yellow flowers and young leaves of our guest of honor.  Then we sautéed up a batch of onions and garlic, added dandelion greens, nettles, and the very young leaves of yellow dock and sprinkled this with vinegar and tamari. We finished off with a Dandelion-Rhubarb Crisp that remained a festival favorite for years to come.  Our small crowd ate everything we made, every last morsel.

We considered it a total success with over twenty-five neighbors and “people-who-don’t-know-us” stopping in to see what all the fuss was about. Well, almost a total success.  We learned that very first year that you do not bring out the dandelion wine early in the day; it should be one of the last classes offered. It involves wine tasting and is way too much fun for everyone involved!

The next two years we offered the festival again, the last week in April, in Dorje’s back yard. And for the two years after that we were hosted by Hedgerow Farm located east of Boulder. Every year we offered more classes, bringing in published authors for talks and book signings. Every year more people flocked to our festival; we had to find volunteers to park cars!!  It was exhilarating and exhausting. We were hoping that the Naropa Institute of Boulder, Colorado, and the owner’s of Hedgerow Farm, would take over the festival as part of their continuing education and community outreach program, but they did not take the bait. Alas, after 5 successful years, we were worn out. 

Below I offer you two “dandy” recipes that were published in the Daily Camera, Boulder’s local rag, on April 25, 2001. The article was printed in the FOOD section of the newspaper the week before our festival, along with a Schedule of Events.

These recipes are easy, quick, delicious, and dare I say it, good for you.

Sautéed Dandelion Greens

1 Tbl. Olive oil

1 Tbl. Tamari

3 garlic cloves, sliced

1 Tbl. Apple cider vinegar

4 cups fresh spring dandelion greens, washed thoroughly and chopped

(blanching optional, see note)

Combine olive oil, tamari, and vinegar in a skillet and warm on medium heat. Add the garlic and sauté for 1 minute. Add the greens. If using fresh greens, sauté for 4 to 5 minutes. If using blanched greens, just warm through, about another minute.

Makes 2 to 3 servings.

NOTE: Dandelion greens get very bitter later in the season, even in late spring. To eliminate some of this bitterness, place the greens in a sauce pan and pour boiling water over them. Bring the water back to a boil. Strain, then repeat the process if necessary.

Dandy Tofu

½ pound of tofu, cut into cubes or sticks

Enough soy sauce or tamari to cover tofu

One cup of tightly packed wild greens (dandelion, mallow leaves, wild spinach, purple mustard, etc)

1 Tbl. Oil or butter

A few dashes of turmeric

Optional: chopped hardboiled eggs, mushrooms, garlic and/or onion, sesame seeds.

Place the sliced tofu in a shallow bowl. Pour soy sauce over it and leave it to marinate. Go outside and gather wild greens (also available at heath-food stoves and “better” grocery markets)

Add oil or butter to saucepan over medium heat. Begin browning the tofu, sprinkle with turmeric, while you wash and strain your greens. When the tofu is browned on one side, turn it and lay the greens on top.

Add any optional ingredients. Cover and let simmer on medium low heat for a few more minutes, till other side of tofu is browned. Gently stir and serve.

Makes 1 to 2 servings.

I Love this for breakfast!!

NOTE: for years now I have been substituting Braggs Amino Acids for soy sauce and tamari. It is a much healthier choice for a low salt diet.

Turmeric is wonderful for the digestive system and can be taken in capsule form for joint inflammation.

TESTIMONIAL from May 1, 2011's Wild Food Workshop

Dear Annette,

What a wonderful day being with you and the circle of horse women!

Thank you so much for sharing Lakota with me. I will never forget her breathing and gentleness. I do believe she licked my hands to help heal them!!  She knew I needed some help there. I am so glad she let me hug her and pet her.

The sharing circle at the beginning was powerful. You are such a sensitive, loving, enthusiastic teacher. I always love field trips so visiting the variety of plants and picking and tasting them was pure fun. Now I just need to find some wild plants that haven’t been sprayed.

Thank you for offering this special class. Any time I can learn more about wild plants and animals, I feel blessed. May you find sweet success, you deserve it.

AT, Boulder, Colorado