WHITE CARPET : RED STAIN.

                    

Saturday. I woke up this morning with an image in my mind that won’t go away.  So I thought if I gave it a voice it may have more to teach me. It has to do with my personal journey through domestic violence. It was certainly not a journey that I planned for myself, but once the engine pulled out of the station, picking up speed ~ it was hard to jump off the train.

I have spent the past few months working on a piece of “unfinished business” that bubbled to the surface through a series of seemingly unrelated events. Actually it was brought to my attention by my life coach who listened to me ramble on about the random chaos of my life;  a disappointing experience with my male housemate, patchy communication with my son, and yet .. forever optimistic …. my desire for a new relationship. Yes, I believe I am finally ready.

It was she who finally named the elephant in the room. With her help I have been looking at my relationships with the men in my life ~~ from the very beginning to the present. It has been interesting and sometimes painful; sorting through what is important, what needs to be transformed, and what needs to be let go. 

This morning’s vision was a red stain on white carpet.  It was curious and when I stepped back I saw a scene unfold before me.  I was in a living room ~ and I knew it was my living room although I have never lived in a house with white carpet. Someone had spilled dark red wine. They apologized profusely and even as I quickly found things to mop up the mess I was assuring them that it was alright, that everything would be all right.  But I was lying.  I knew the carpet was ruined and would never be the same again. I had the carpet professionally cleaned and the spot looked like it really had disappeared. But by that evening, after the workmen had left, the carpet began to dry and stain popped out again. And every time the carpet was cleaned the spot faded away a little more, until it was so slight that only I knew it was there. Maybe it isn’t really there anymore! Can you see it?  Maybe I only see it because I remember where it happened.

That is what domestic violence feels like. There were many stains …. but it was such a long, long time ago.  I cleaned and cleaned that damn carpet. I even sat a coffee table over the top and could walk right by without even thinking about it.  I thought the stain had finally disappeared … but here it is again. This is what unfinished business looks like.  

Of course there are elements of forgiveness ~ for myself and others.

But what about wiping the slate clean and forgetting all about it. Is that the answer? Is it even realistic? Does time heal all wounds? For me, the answer is “Yes, but” … which quietly dissolves into “No, not really.” 

And so here is where I am today. I realize that stain happened a long time ago to a young girl who had few skills and very little protection. But today I am a very different person. My forgiveness, offered many years ago, is still sincere. What to do next? I booked an energy session with a friend to clear and remove blocked and harmful energy patterns that no longer serve me. I have studied hard, learned many things, yet often stopped to smell the roses. I know honest lovely men, most of them married to dear friends of mine, but I enjoy their company and know there are more men out there like them. Today I walk with my head up, laugh easily, and am surrounded by friends I can trust to be there for me.

I believe the white carpet is my own young innocence. The "red" stain is the anger I felt deeply and never fully acknowledged. Stains happen, so do miracles.  Talking with a qualified coach and receiving energy work allowed me to move through the process with much more understanding; deeper and quicker and with more direction. 

And I know now that I can choose to pull the cord, stop the train and step off, thusly … moving forward with grace.                                    Blessed be.                                            

SKILLS !!

My world is totally f***ing bi-polar right now.                                                                                       I am hanging on to the bell at the bottom of my pendulum, swinging wildly from one extreme to another, back and forth, back and forth, never still, never totally comfortable.

Sometimes I can throw my head back and enjoy the air rushing through, messing up my hair, and laugh at the absurdity of it all,

Other times I cling tightly to the cold metal, eye lids pinched tightly, hanging on for dear (?) life.

The trick, I am reminded, is to seek inner balance. To "not be jolted by such impermanence."

 

 

I have tricks. Skills ??

"Step outdoors,”  I remind myself,

“seek the ragged edges of my mountain landscape, 

breathe deeply the sweet essence of a horse.”

Her sweet bulk soothes my nerves.  

Her steady heartbeat quiets mine.     

The kindness in her eye restores my faith.

 

Ragged might be beautiful.

 

Expressions - Part 5

2. CHAKRA BALANCING.

Many Eastern healing modalities work with the energy centers of the physical body.  A widely known view is the Chakra system, which was known in both Chinese and Indian philosophies. Chakras are the energy centers of the physical body. The primary seven are located on the mid-line of the body and align, in an ascending column, from the base of the spine to the top of the head. They can be visualized as a double spinning spiral that opens both to the front of the body and along the backbone. In perfect health, these energy centers give and receive energy and are balanced one to another as well as front to back.

Acupuncture, Healing Touch and Reiki are only three examples of healing modalities that have become more mainstream, even in our Western healing practices, as we begin to have more understanding of the holistic approach of body/mind spirit. As a Reiki Master myself, I realize that most practitioners have an understanding of the chakra system and incorporate chakra balancing as part of their healing routine.

Melisa had a large black and white Gypsy Vanner horse named Fancy that joined her healing herd. She had feet the size of dinner plates but I have watched her time after time, gently walk around a client and balance their chakra’s front and back, and never once stepped on a human foot. She was Melissa’s “go to” chakra balancer. She often gently backed up till she was touching the person with her enormous rump, to balance their root chakra.

Yes, they can balance ours even as we balance theirs. I have watched many horses do a quick body scan from toe to head before they go to work, walking around “their client”, standing for a few minutes with their forehead at a person’s abdomen, 3rd chakra = solar plexus, and then move to the persons back and present their heart chakra to the back of that person.

EXPRESSSIONS OF HORSES AS HEALERS

 

 

 EXPRESSSIONS  OF  HORSES  AS  HEALERS
 

By Annette Price  /  September 17, 2012                                                          
http://www.onthewingsofahorse.com 

 

 

Prepared as a Course Project in Horse Psychology

Reach Out to Horses’ Holistic Horsemanship                                            

Comprehensive Training Course                                                                                 

with Anna Twinney 

at Zuma’s Rescue Ranch, Littleton, CO

Horse as Healer: Chakras & Empowerment

Chakra balancing.

I have seen Melisa’s horses do this over and over.  They start at the human’s toes and with their nose they go up one side of the body and down the other, slowly, methodically. Sometimes they walk around the human and scan the back side as well. Sometimes they will stand in front of the client and sway back and forth with their nose at the heart chakra. Well they don’t really sway their whole body, they just gently swing their head back and forth usually standing fairly close to the human.

One very large black and white Gypsy Vanner horse, will slowly back up to a person and press her root chakra onto the client. She will move around the person and press her butt on them from different angles. It looks kind of funny but she is trying to ground the person into the “now-ness” of the moment. She is very gentle and walks very slowly with her large magnificent feet.

 When they are finished the horse will back away or move away from the human and they often look over at Melisa as if to say, “I know it only took two minutes, but we’re done here. This one is cleared and balanced to the best of my ability.”

 It could be scary to the human if they didn’t trust both the facilitator and the horse, but that has not been my experience. The human always love it in the end as they walk out of the round pen glowing.

Empowerment.

Once there was timid woman with a very, very sad story that she told very well. I am beginning to realize how boring stories really are when they are polished and embellished due to years and years practicing of the telling. (And I look at myself and how many tedious stories I have bored people with. Write them, get them out of me, and move on for goodness sakes!) Anyway the woman was going on and Melisa said “Okay I get the idea. Lets try an exercise. Are you willing to do that?”

The woman agreed and we brought in a large dark bay gelding, a very handsome creature to be sure. Melisa also sent someone for the mounting block and brought a couple of extra students.  We all knew that the woman had a little bit of horse experience and were not surprised when she agreed to ride this horse bareback. She looked like a tiny fairy up on the horses back and she immediately broke out in this huge grin. We led the horse around the circle with a side walker on either side to make sure that she was safe and had the woman speak of joy.

Melisa coached her with stem sentences like, “I feel joy when …”

And ended up by asking where in her body was she feeling this joy. “It is like my entire core is filled with golden light; my whole rib cage is expanding with joy.” She bent over the horse and wrapped her hands around his neck, still grinning and indeed, it was if a light were radiating from her. We walked in silence for a while and Melisa instructed her to feel all the joy, to let it soak into her body, and to know that she could come back to this memory in an instant, any time she wanted to. This was her touchstone for joy.

The woman walked out of the round pen and she truly did look different to all of us; softer, more relaxed and happier than we had ever known her.

And still, that is just the beginning……

Healing Horses - Energy Clearing

Being in Melisa’s program this past fourteen months has been amazing. The things that I have seen horses do with human clients has been inspiring.  I want to expound on each of these further but I want to take a few moments and float back through the year and pick up some strong points.

Leaching. I took my horse to the October 2010 CORE,  our week-end intensive training sessions and she proved herself to be a true healer.

With one of the clients who had years of pent up anxiety and trauma, Lakota stood beside her and with her nose, slowly scanned the woman’s body, up and down from her toes to the top of her head.  Then Lakota stood there and opened her mouth and did these long deep yawns. In my own body I almost felt like gagging ~ it was almost painful to watch but then she is my best friend and I was feeling very protective of her. Melisa and the woman kept dialoging, she telling her story and Lakota kept yawing. She stopped one time, appeared to be listening to the story and then started yawning again over and over. Her head was down, her teeth exposed and she leaned into each yawn.

When the woman was done talking and Lakota was done yawing, Melisa asked the client how she was feeling now. “Well, I’m not really sure what just happened but I feel pounds lighter and much happier.”

“I am not surprised” Melisa said.

Melisa thanked Lakota and we put her back in her stall and debriefed the session. Melisa told us that the horse was pulling the toxic energy out of the woman’s body and releasing it with her deep yawning. She literally leached the negativity out of the woman. Of course we wanted to know what effect it had on the horse and she explained that the horse acts as a clearing vessel and it goes right through them and is released to the universe to be transmuted by the creator energy that surrounds the healing horse.

Horses do NOT hang onto useless energy,  they release it immediately,

they do not ruminate about what happened yesterday,

and they certainly do not worry about what is going to happen tomorrow.

They are totally in the present moment ~ always!  

WOW.

Mocha – Part 2 of 2.

.... continued  

                                    
I moved away from Mocha for a moment and then stepped back up and asked the pendulum to read his chakra one more time. Nothing, da nada!  I took a small step back from the horse, closed my eyes and asked to see the spirit of his crown chakra. I immediately found myself in what felt like a large, dark hole. There was no light. I had the sense of being suspended in a very dark canister. It wasn’t uncomfortable or scary, but it was very, very dark. I imagined a small light bulb hanging down from above and I could muster up a small amount of light, but I had the definite sense that I was doing it all by myself and for myself; there was no part of Mocha that was participating. “Well this is really a dreary place to be” I said to the spirit of the chakra, whose presence I could feel, but could not see. “I certainly would not want to hang out here myself.  In fact, I have another place that I go to often in my meditation and I would like to show that to you, would you like to see it?”
“Yes”
I felt the spirit did indeed want to go there with me. So I took just a second to visualize the open meadow with my special tree; it is sunny and bright there.  Some small details change when I go to my special place but the green meadow, the large tree and the sunshine are always dependably present. I get there quickly and easily, and in fact had only been there for a second, when I noticed a brown horse running and bucking and expressing great joy at being in this lovely meadow. “What do you think about this place? Isn’t it great!” I called out to the dark horse      .
“Yes, yes, thank you for showing me this meadow. I had forgotten that places like this existed. I have been trapped in that black, dark place for a long time. I didn’t know that I could get out of it!!” he exclaimed excitedly.
“Oh yes, you can come here any time you want and you can even change it to make it all your own,” I answered back. I had the sense that he was running through a vast number of pleasant scenarios, and I felt the presence of other horses that he would soon be bringing into the meadow. I looked at the spirit horse in front of me and noticed that there was a calm, happy look in his eye. We nodded to each other and I left the meadow.
I opened my eyes and looked at Mocha. He had a calm demeanor and was still enjoying having us stand around him. I gently scratched his shoulder, told Martha the vision I had just experienced, and took my pendulum out of my pocket. I placed it above his head and asked the spirit of the crown chakra to show me the direction and intensity of that chakra. It began to move in a large sweeping circle. WOW! Martha and I looked at one another and grinned. For this day, we were done.
Could it be that easy?  I believe that it can, maybe not always, but it can be clean and simple and still be wildly effective. I believe that with all my heart. I have had visions that were a lot more complicated, but it is a step by step process, going where spirit guides me. The emptier I am, the easier the process flows. I do know that.
At this point I did have a verbal talk with Mocha and told him that respect is a two way street. That if he wanted, needed or desired respect from another being, even a human, he had to show some respect as well. Horse and humans are two different species of sentient beings and the rules of behavior between the two are not always the same. I reminded him that his humans were wonderful caregivers who provided a very comfortable life for him, worked hard to bring him good quality food and water, and that this probably deserved a good deal more respect towards them on his part if he wanted to stay with them. And I had the sense that he did.

I have not seen Mocha again, but I have recently heard from Martha that amazing things are happening between the two of them!

The "Happy" end.

Mocha - Part 1 of 2.

Martha invited me out to meet Mocha.  He had some behavioral issues that were getting so unpleasant his human family was no longer enjoying his company. He was very impatient when they fed him and not respectful of his human’s space when they came to him with food. They described him as being “piggy” about his food, acting like he was scared to death of starving and gobbling up all of his food. They were worried that if they brought in another horse, Mocha would transfer this piggy attitude to the new horse. He was an attractive gelding with a most unusual mark, there was a straight line down the middle of his face ~ one side was a pleasant brown and the other half was a subtly different, yet darker shade of brown. You could easily miss it if you looked at him casually, but once it was pointed out to you, it was very easy to see.

I introduced myself to Mocha and walked around him to make sure that he was comfortable with me being in his paddock. He was of stocky build but looked comfortable as he stood in front of us. Going to work/play, the first thing I asked was to “see” the overall “spirit” of the horse. I was immediately given a clear and distinct picture. Mocha was leaning back in a lounge chair on a gorgeous beach, with a colorful umbrella partially shading him from the sun. (Yes, he was horse in a human posture!)  I “knew” that there were waiters ready to bring him drinks and snacks if as much as clapped his hooves. He had a haughty attitude and I guessed that when he did clap, he expected immediate attention.

I couldn’t help but laugh as I told Martha what I was “seeing”.  It could easily have been my imagination coming up with a cartoon picture after what she had told me about his behavior. But that was indeed what I visualized the moment I “checked in.”

I did a body scan with an open palm over the top line of his body. Mocha was standing easily and was very excepting of the attention. I encountered small miasms, which are detectable blockages of the energy field which surrounds each and every thing on our planet and maybe in the entire universe.  These can typically be easily removed and I did so this day. Then I got out my pendulum and went to work.  I asked to see the direction and intensity of each of Mocha’s seven major chakras. Starting at the base of his tail I checked the 1^st or “root chakra” and then traveled towards his head checking each of the next five chakras and found the first six were moving in a normal way.  So I was startled to get to the 7^th “crown” chakra and watch the pendulum come to a complete stop. All on its own, it totally stopped moving. Okay; wasn’t expecting that. I looked at Martha and knew instantly that she had witnessed it as well.

… to be continued.