In the bath I questioned the partially bruised big toe of my right foot. It isn’t bad enough to lose the toenail, but I have no idea what happened to it … seems weird. I broke that toe five or six years ago. I was winter riding with some friends and I stepped my dear horse off the path onto what appeared to be dirt, but was really an icy patch that the wind had blown dirt over. Lakota slipped and in what felt like slow-motion - fell to her side. My friends told me it actually looked very graceful. But I did not get my leg out of the stirrup in time and she landed on my leg. It didn’t seem like that big of a deal until my toe started throbbing and then I knew we had done some damage. It was interesting how that fall has come back to me so many times; stepped off the path, time slowed down, falling and falling, things not what they looked like, the right side of my body gets hurt again … ????
The bubble bath was a great way to start the day. Laying there barely aware of the window getting brighter with the coming dawn. Soaking in the warmth, the water, the bubbles and listening to the gentle voice of one of my teachers on the CD, letting her drown out my mind.
For you, dear reader, do not know the problem that woke me up at 4:28 am with such fierceness. Is there a fall in front of me? Will time slow down for me? Will I have the ability to get my foot out of the stirrup in time to stave off hurtful consequences? At least I will bring more awareness to this situation and I pray for the grace and beauty and wisdom to stand on the edge of the precipice and be guided through it without any one getting bruised or battered. That is my prayer for this day.