Sunday, January 1, 2012

New Years Day – 2012

I have in front of me the cards that I pulled last night. I had settled into a peaceful place, touched the JOY in my life, and invited the “persona” of my new business, On the Wings of a Horse, to join me.  I sent my prayer out to the pasture and touched minds with Lakota and the long eared ones. When I felt the presence of all that is me and then that which is beyond, I asked for guidance, for assistance. I had Melisa Pearce’s Inspirational Card Deck in my hands. Shuffling them four times I thought of my vision, my dream and I opened myself up to the possibilities that i was yet to be aware of.

One card fell out, and I set it aside. It had chosen me but I had not finished my ritual. I cut the deck and there was MYSTICAL. I read it and the tears came.  “The vastness of your purpose and the energies of the universe are before you at this time.    Hold that everything is unfolding before you with divine inspiration, in divine time and with divine ease.”  Goddess, I love these cards!!!!  Thank you !!!

And then I read the card that chose me.  ATTENTIVENESS.  “There is a plan laid out before you.  … The path is choreographed and exact.  You are being asked to play full-out and to give your all. “ 
I have never pulled either of these cards before and their message to me was crystal clear.  I fell asleep last night with a smile on my face.  Ask and you shall receive.  So mote it be.
This morning I fed the horses with so much love in my heart that I barely touched the earth. I leaned into them gently and smelled them in deeply.  I am outrageously BLESSED and I give THANKS.
The Day After MAD-ness.
Since I wrote you of the MAD-ness of Friday, I feel compelled to write of yesterday, Saturday, the last day of 2011. I followed my heart all day:  writing, dusting my house, playing with plants – cleaning and pruning, made phone calls to friends and family, played my flute and drummed new life back into my re-born drum, and thusly back into me. I chose NOT to do any real estate work.  Walking from room to room, I paid homage to the totems purposefully arranged in the middle of the floor, an altar of sorts.

I almost went in and removed yesterday mornings blog. I logged in and sat poised to erase it, and in the end I did edit out a few sentences that I could no longer resonate with.  Shit happens. Sometimes I get pitched into the muck. It is not pretty. It is not comfortable. It is what happens next that is important.

I decided not to go out, but instead to stay in and enjoy the newly shiny surfaces of my home. After the sun went down I made a scrumptious tray of good, fun, and pretty foods and snuggled under my fuzzy blanket to watch movies rented from the library. I poured a glass of handmade Cherry Cordial, a Christmas gift that tasted as delicious as it sounds!  I heard the fireworks and looked up, surprised to note that I had witnessed the first moments of a new year.  I had to move my cat, Magic, who was stretched full out on my tummy, to check on the horses who are not all fond of fireworks and then I settled down for a quiet ritual. Friday I let loose volley after volley of four letter words ~ but now I reflected for a moment on two   “three- letter” words:  JOY versus MAD.   

Friday I allowed myself to plunge into despair and anger in a big way. I will not forget what that felt like. I will hold it to contrast all the good days against.  I know on many levels that the choice is always mine, whether to live in MAD (fear) or in JOY (Love).  I KNOW that. But some days are easy and some days just test the very mettle of all I am striving to be.  Thusly i can practice the JOY of Forgiveness.  The act of forgiving my SELF. That is what I will remember.  JOY shall win out.